I actually had a hard time choosing the subject for this year’s obligatory spooky Halloween tie in review. Most of my initial choices were for various reasons unavailable, others weren’t noteworthy enough to warrant talking about. I think my biggest issue is that bad horror movies (what we’re expected to review this time of year) all have the same problems. Unlikeable characters made purely to be killed off, slow pacing, and of course, the lack of actual scares. It’s why I’m not into horror as a genre. Modern horror flicks are basically just jump scares and vague unexplained ghostly possession of things that aren’t scary.
When the only recent horror flick to get our attention is about a ghost nun, and we only notice it because one of its adverts was bad enough to get banned, you know something’s up.
So, instead I went for the usually reliable well of Halloween specials. Movies that actually have something to do with Halloween feel more appropriate anyway. This film… has nothing to do with Halloween…. But I found it on CR’s list of top forgotten Halloween specials, so I’m using that as an excuse to review The Scarecrow.
It’s been quite a while since we last encountered the works of Rich Animation Studios. That being The Swan Princess movies I reviewed over four years ago as part of the first movie marathon I ever did (which at this point frankly feels like a million years ago). Seeing as how Swan Princess was considered by the vast majority of people to be Richard Rich’s only good movie since leaving Disney and it failed to hold up in my eyes, you can imagine my hesitation for looking into this film seeing as how this one was not worthy of having four sequels made of it.
(Err, Baron, about that-)
Not now, Bracketed Text. Still, let’s give it a try.
The opening is a disorientating overload of information via a 4th wall breaking Witch who in under two minutes explains how in a town called Grisham Heights, she used to be a dance instructor for an evil count until he discovered she knew magic, learning a single magical dance move which forces people to love him before she escaped and left town, leaving her home to a scarecrow she brought to life, a sentient broomstick and a talking mouse and that the field of said scarecrow is also a hiding spot used by a local mill worker to store her money so that she and three orphans can afford to also leave town and start better lives… We haven’t even reached the title sequence and there are at least eleven questions that need answering.
Luckily the pace calms down a bit when the movie begins in earnest. The town of Grisham Heights is run by the oh so humble Count Grisham like a slave camp in order to produce his main source of income: dance shoes, tutus and other such clothing.
This, folks, is why we need to stop watching Strictly Come Dancing.
We’re told this mostly through a catchy musical number, the swinging and fun tone of which feels really inappropriate when you consider this is literally the starting verse:
“Torture everyday
Working without pay
Suffering as we sweat and we slave
Dear Count Grisham
So, do we pray
To free us from this sorrow circumstance
Working so the count can dance”
I didn’t change a thing. But one of the workers that isn’t feeling so down is Polly, the aforementioned mill worker who has just gotten the last piece of silver she needs to get herself and the kids out of town, a fact she needs to keep secret lest Count Grisham (whose basically Gaston if he was into ballroom dancing, what with him wanting to marry the female lead purely for beauty) pull some strings to keep her around. So naturally the first thing she does is go singing through the town whilst very publicly showing off the piece of silver in what’s honestly a pretty jerky move considering the living conditions everyone else is in.
Thanks to a scene that is genuinely completely unrelated to that last one, the money’s hiding place is discovered by Cheswick, one of the Count’s henchmen. He’s notable for having a stomach with a mind of its own…. To the point where he name’s it Melvyn. One would think this’d be a gimmick that would last longer than one scene, but no. It’s there to be a plot device one time and is never brought up again.
It’s rare you see such imagination put into a plot contrivance.
Revealing he’s alive, the Scarecrow hops off his perch and along with the broomstick manages to scare Cheswick off and save the coins, prompting him to high five the broom (it has arms) and say a line that the writers clearly didn’t think through hard enough:
“Give me some wood!”
Don’t say that. Now I have to make fun of you on the internet.
With his secret out, Scarecrow and his friends decide they should start making their own plans of skipping town. But there’s a problem. Over the years, even before he was sentient, Scarecrow has guarded the money and Polly in turn would often talk to him. These moments of appreciation and affection have caused him to develop feelings for her and since she’s leaving, this may be his last chance to finally speak to her. So, despite the warnings of his obligatory comedic animal sidekick Max the mouse, he heads into town, planning to also keep up his duty of guarding the coins by bringing them right to Polly…. And by extension the people she’s trying to hide said money from…. Who promptly steal it.
Starting to see why Scarecrow took that gap year to Oz.
Returning to the witch’s house, Scarecrow discovers a magical feather which grants him his wish of becoming human when he puts it in his hat. After a moment where he…. Enjoys the sensation of pain…. Yep, that scene’s definitely in the movie… he finds his new situation comes with some downsides. He has to keep the feather in his hat and by extension keep the hat on his head at all times otherwise he’ll immediately change back. Also, his true form will still show in reflections and mirrors.
Understandably upset about letting down Polly, he vows to make it up to her. Taking on the identity of Master Feathertop, he comes up with a brilliant plan to raise money: dress up Max in drag and have him dance for money in town square… genius.
Comparably, Grisham’s plan feels award worthy. With Polly’s fifty-two silver pieces as the prize, he announces a dance competition that only allows couples, intending for her to be his dance partner and allow him to use the love spell on her. Luckily, Feathertop, having also been taught by the witch, agrees not only to be Polly’s partner, but teaches her to dance as well.
So, to summarise. Our main character under a fake name and disguise which he received from a magical being who speaks in modern talk despite this being set in the past is trying to hook up with a woman he’s loved from afar whilst stopping the schemes of an evil man trying to marry said woman with the help of his animal sidekick and a non-talking, flying, living object.
Yeah, if you can’t tell, despite having left them a while ago at this point, Mr Rich and his studio still very much work from the principle of copying Disney. Except this time, rather than copying the general Disney formula, this time they’re just straight up ripping off the plot from Aladdin with a touch of Pinocchio thrown in there for good measure what with the whole wanting to be human thing. But like with Swan Princess, while the basic elements are there, the effort is not. The characters are standard cookie cutter bunch (with the possible exception of Grisham) and the story is formulaic. They were also clearly going for the whole modern talk in classic setting humour popularised by Aladdin but didn’t seem to catch onto how most of that humour was centred around a singular character: The Genie. Here, attempts at that humour are all over the place and it feels really awkward. This is best showcased when we go to the dance contest and are treated to… you know what? I can’t do this justice. Just watch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtKQToZt4RA
Gonna just point out, this isn’t a costume ball or something. Those clothes are accurate to the time this story supposedly takes place.
I honestly laughed out loud upon first viewing this. And if you think this is done intentionally where they acknowledge how stupid this is…. no. They have made it very clear before and continue to make it clear after this that they have no clue what they’re doing. They’re just doing it because that’s what the instructions of their “How to Make a Counterfeit Disney Movie” manual is telling them to. This is the equivalent of making a movie on autopilot. And from how many movies I’ve reviewed that are questionable in their existence, I might have to start using “Movie Making Autopilot” as an official term.
That clip also shows another problem with this film: the animation. It’s not good, mostly due to it’s abuse of rotoscoping. For those who don’t know, rotoscoping is a technique where an animator traces over live action footage frame by frame, usually to recreate realistic movements. The motion capture of the 1900s. You can see this a lot in films like Snow White and The Seven Dwarves where characters like Snow White, the Prince, the Evil Queen and the Huntsman are pretty much entirely rotoscoped. It’s not used as much in modern times, mostly due to the newer techniques and technologies now available (well, that and the slow gradual death of 2D animated movies over the course of this last decade) but also, I think because of how… fake it looks. I know that sounds weird to say, but you can tell when something’s been rotoscoped and as such it makes the animation less impressive since you know it’s just a real person whose being traced.
I shouldn’t be too hard on the techiqnue itself though since it does take some effort. Effort they clearly weren’t willing to put in here. The characters’ movements range between reasonably realistic to ridiculously rigid, switching between the two on a whim. This is all made worse by what they’re trying to do with it. As you can tell, dancing is a big part of this movie. The big advantage in animation is that you can show very expressive dance moves that aren’t possible in real life. But due to rotoscoping, they can only show realistic dance moves. Which would still be impressive if it weren’t for the fact they only use very basic dance moves. Any able-bodied person can dance like this. I can dance like this!
Anyway, back to the story. Polly and Feathertop win the contest (that has no visible judges so how they won is anyone’s guess) and then come to the next logical course of action: get married! Yep, they’ve known each other for two days and both have decided “this is the one”.
What’s sad is that there are other movies we’ve reviewed with romances that feel more rushed and have less genuine chemistry. The couple in Legend of the Titanic shared one line and two scenes before they came to this stage in their relationship.
Up until this point, Cheswick has been going around trying to prove Feathertop is a scarecrow. No one believes him due to the ludicrous nature of such an idea and… well let’s face it, when you acknowledge a portion of your body as a separate entity to the point where you give it a name, you’ve kinda wavered any believability on your part. But then Grisham discovers this all by himself, capturing Scarecrow and tying him up his old stand back in the field and stealing the feather so he can wear it, becoming Feathertop so that he can marry Polly (yeah, they’re literally holding the wedding the next day) and for good measure sets the field on fire in hopes of burning Scarecrow to death. Genius!
Because just setting Scarecrow himself on fire would have been impolite I guess, Max and the broom get him free AND steal back the feather before Grisham even reaches the chapel. Realizing they’ve just wasted a perfectly good climax, Grisham comes up with another scheme to win over Polly: kill her…… GENIUS!!!
Since he apparently has a policy about only murdering people through use of the environment around him, Count Grisham has his men sabotage the only bridge out of town… whilst he’s still standing on it. This leads to a final fight between him and Feathertop which results in the count falling to his death while Polly and the kids manage to make it across before the bridge collapses…. GEEEEEEEENIUUUUUUUUS!!!!!!
Feathertop was unfortunately caught in the collapse, but remember, these are the guys behind Swan Princess. Death literally means nothing if your one of the good guys… unless your Princess Odette’s parents, I guess. Of course, he survives and joins back up with the others, only to inform Polly that they can’t be together. He’s realized that while he looks human, he still isn’t. And a human/pile of straw and sticks relationship just can’t work no matter how much he wants it to. But before he leaves, Polly… gives him back his feather. Again, these are the guys behind Swan Princess, so of course the magic comes with some weird rules. Apparently, the only way to make the full transformation into a human is to give up your life for someone else, hence the whole resurrection thing back there. Though, I’ll give them some credit. They do actually give reason for the resurrection. So, Polly and Feathertop embrace, the wedding is back on, and he finally reveals his secret to- wait… no? He’s gonna just live a lie the rest of his life? Ok.
Grisham Heights is promptly renamed Swing Town, everyone lives happily ever after (except for Cheswick whose carted away to the loony bin) and the witch drops by to say how she hopes we enjoyed her story…. For which she was present in for about 10% of the run time.
What’s funny is despite this overall having more issues and being of poorer quality, I actually found The Scarecrow to be far better than all the Swan Princess movies. That’s not much of an achievement nor is it much in terms of praise. For what it’s meant to be, a knock off Disney movie, it’s pretty bad. As an unintentional comedy however, it shines like a freshly polished copper coin. Hardly silver, definitely not gold, but it’s of some worth. I laughed more times here than I did on my last review, let’s put it that way.
Still, even having had a better experience this time around, I don’t plan on checking in on the Rich animated movies again any time soon. Now on a completely unrelated note, Bracketed Text, what were you gonna say earlier?
(Hmm? Oh, it’s about Swan Princess…. They made three more movies.)
Hey, don’t we usually review three movies every January?
….FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Media Baron 